Back in the early 80’s, Superman the movie was a big hit. It was so big that someone at DC decided it would be a good idea to expand the franchise by making a Supergirl movie. Written by the same person who wrote “Masters of the Universe”, it’s everything you’d expect it to be. Kara Zor El is Superman’s cousin and lives in Argo City which is in inner space. Little explanation is given as to what exactly inner space is other than that Earth is in outer space and Argo city is in inner space. We’re expected to make sense of this explanation and go on with the movie. Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty more questions by the end of the film. When Kara accidentally loses the omega hedron, the city’s power source, through Argo City’s cellophane windows, she follows it to Earth. What an astounding coincidence that it lands on the same planet her cousin lives on! Oh, and she already knows all about his life somehow. Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty more questions by the end of the film. The omega hedron just happens to land right in front of a megalomaniacal witch named Selena who somehow immediately knows what it can be used for. Meanwhile Kara needlessly establishes the alter ego of Linda Lee at an all-girls school and just happens to be roomed with Lois Lane’s little sister Lucy. Oh, and her math teacher just happens to be Selena’s… boyfriend… I guess. Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty more questions by the end of the film. While wasting precious time she must also track down the omega hedron while being pursued by a landscaper under Selena’s love spell. Selena’s main beef with “Linda” is that the landscaper fell for Linda and not her. That’s right, the female leads of this movie are essentially fighting over a boy. Another point for feminism! Selena uses the omega hedron to try to retrieve her man, fight Supergirl, and take over the world. Join me as I riff this confusing mess of a movie!